


you color my world (brighter than the sun)

by taesxbandanas



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Synesthesia, and he has never seen yellow until he meets hyuck, but not for mark, he associates colors and flowers to people, jaemin n hyuck really just want mark to know they are there for him, jaemin n mark are best friends, mark finding a home in a person, mark has synesthesia, mark's father in this has issues, not glorifying abuse bc i know what that's like, use of walk you home lyrics bc i'm a sucker for them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 08:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20240137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taesxbandanas/pseuds/taesxbandanas
Summary: mark finds a home in the color yellow and silver hair





	you color my world (brighter than the sun)

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys so this is something short i wrote for my creative writing class and it's a bit different from my usual writing style but i haven't posted on here in awhile so i thought why not?  
i am not trying to glorify abuse in any way but if you feel like this does, let me know so i can fix it. 
> 
> tw// for domestic abuse but other than that it's soft :(
> 
> thank you for reading!

“hey, mark, is that you?” a serene voice immediately envelops me in soft white, the scent of warm daisies filling my nose as if i were laying in a meadow instead of on a bench outside the seoul university music building. “mark, are you alright?”

images of grass tickling my neck and squinting from midday sun try to pull me in, to keep me relaxed, but something pokes my cheek and I sleepily focus on jaemin’s face, peering down at me with an innocent pout and furrowed eyebrows. “you didn’t answer any of my texts last night. i was just worried something happened.” the white shifts to a more dramatic shade, a pale princess pink, and the daises wilt slightly as i notice jaemin is panting heavily, as if he had been sprinting around campus looking for me.

“shit, i’m sorry,” i mutter, not really feeling all that sorry. my phone lies face-up next to me, and it buzzes every few seconds. “jae, are you still texting me? you can literally just talk to me, you know.”

jaemin looks hesitant as he glances at the screen. the roses lose petals. “i think — i think you should check it, hyung.”

at jaemin’s unsure murmuring, i sit up too fast and fight the wave of dizziness that consumes me so i can read the incoming messages.

**lee jinyoung**

i’m sorry mark, i didn’t mean it

look, can you not tell your mother?

she’d kill me

_3:31pm _

“dammit mark, why didn’t you tell me?” jaemin’s soft voice from over my shoulder contrasts with the harshness of his words, but it manages to slightly dull the crimson that colors my vision, even if it’s not enough. the sharpness of it goes outside the lines — sloppy, obnoxious, bright — but all-consuming. i can’t escape it, even if the lines look like those from a 99 cent coloring book.

**lee jinyoung**

why the hell are you ignoring me

are you hanging out with that jaemin again

you need to get better friends,i don’t think he likes me very much

_3:33pm_

“hyung, don’t lose me here, what color?” jaemin pries the phone out of my hands, unfortunately knowing exactly what to do when i get like this.

**lee jinyoung**

mark, don’t ignore me

i’m your father

come home NOW.

_3:35pm _

my best friend shouldn’t have to know how to calm me from daily panic attacks caused by someone who promised to protect me.

“i’m right here, hyung, remember? just focus on my voice, and let the white wash over you, okay?”

i hadn’t even been able to answer the question — my lungs gasp for air, hyperventilating through the crushing weight on my chest as i painfully squeeze my eyes shut to block out the color — and yet he still knew what i was seeing. i only see red — hurtful, blatant, panicking red, no flowers — because of my father.

jaemin tells me about his day to distract me: how chenle and jisung were reciting constellations after he picked them up from school, practicing for their astronomy exam, the stars on their flashcards nothing compared to those that shone in their eyes whilst giggling at each other in the backseat; how his mother had made chocolate chip cookies for them when they got home with their grandma’s recipe, so that their kitchen was full of her essence even without her there (“you would have loved it, mark, definitely blue!”); how his english teacher gave up on him when he could only remember the korean word for ‘octopus’ despite learning animals all week for their summer trip to america.

the daisies around me perk up more, their petals ranging in all sorts of white and pink hues. they waltz in the surrounding wind, swaying like how i used to on my mother’s feet as we danced around the living room, michael jackson blaring in the background, before she joined him and left me. my breathing slows, and i finally start to relax.

“hyung, do you hear that?” jaemin calls from the edge of the field of flowers, the white still lingering at the sound of his voice.

_“you exist _

_the scale of the size nobody will understand _

_other than us _

_in my heart _

_i’ll be your home”_

i fully straighten up now, because the white persists, but there’s also a new color. “jaemin,” i say quietly, my shaky tone bordering on a whisper, “i see yellow.”

his jaw drops in pure astonishment, irises twinkling in disbelief. “mark, are you sure? you’ve never seen—”

“yeah. there’s sunflowers and daisies, jaem. yellow and light pink.”

with a sound like a shocked laugh, he yanks me to my feet and through the music hallways, the doors propped open to invite the cool breeze into the muggy hallways. the angelic blend of major chords and sixteenth-note runs only grows louder as we seem to get lost, although jaemin moves confidently past the doors, his high school distance training serving him well as we jog — or rather, he tugs me — ungracefully.

there’s only one door left on the edge of the hallway we’re in. jaemin, fingers still latched firmly around my wrist, flings the door open suddenly, not caring that it hits the wall in the hallway, and pushes me inside. “hey, i know for a fact i booked this practice room for right now, i don’t care if you’re a fucking upperclassman, you are not kicking me out — oh, it’s just you.”

i can only stare, enraptured, by the boy with the yellow voice. his skin glows with a sort of natural melanin only caused by long hours outside, directly contrasting with his silver hair like sunlight and moonlight. his shirt, a dark purple with a cartoon chicken printed on the front, mimics his puzzled expression, and although i should find this whole situation unnerving, i can’t help but wonder how i’ve never noticed this living sunshine around campus.

“wait, what do you mean? you know me?” jaemin snaps me out of my trance, although the daisies and sunflowers now turn to face the silver-haired stranger in anticipation of his answer.

“well, not you, but him,” he gestures somewhat sheepishly to me, his soft mouth forming around his words like honey, “he’s mark. transfer from canada, carries around notebooks, laughs at everything. everyone knows you.”

i can’t get any words out except for an extremely unflattering stutter of “yellow.” jaemin snickers at my awkwardness, assuring the stranger i’m not usually like this — “usually worse, actually, but we need to tell you something."

the sun-kissed stranger chuckles, raising a challenging eyebrow, and the beaming color glows even more vibrantly. “alright, i'm listening.”

jaemin inclines his head, and i know i have to explain, but the words are lodged in my throat, the vowels and consonants so heavy and scared to emerge. i’m capable, though, i know i am, because i’ve ignored the incessant buzzing of my phone this whole time. “when — when you sang,” i start, my voice as small as i feel, “i saw yellow. for the first time.”

the stranger’s heart-shaped lips part in shock and slight confusion as he timidly asks, “what does that color mean for you?”

i shakily inhale to quiet the nerves racking my body, louder than my phone but still all in my head. “yellow is like — you know when you’re in a cold shower, but you get out and the towel’s warm?” i say, the makings of a grin starting to transform my features, and i can’t help the short bursts of laughter that cut some of my words off because i feel so happy. “or — or when you get home from work after a l-long day and your bed feels so relaxing?” the silver-haired boy nods in delight, giggling as jaemin shakes his head at what he would describe as ‘bullshit examples.’ “your voice made me feel like that — at home. god knows i don’t have one.”

“oh,” the stranger whispers in understanding, his butterscotch eyes traveling to his lap, where he plays absentmindedly with his thumbs. “_oh_. i’m glad i could make you feel like you — you, um, have a place to go.”

he stands from the piano bench and settles in front of me, a couple feet of space between us as he reaches out with a hand. “i’m donghyuck, but you can call me hyuck,” he says shyly, as if he was the one to bare his soul to a stranger instead of the other way around. “do you want to stay?”

the daisies and sunflowers turn to face him again, the glimmer of spring sparkling even as the sun kisses the horizon. gold dances around me in waves, and for once i don’t shy away from their warmth, thinking myself to be undeserving. i vaguely register the door clicking shut behind me as jaemin leaves with a smile, the petals in the meadow showing no signs of early wilting. “i would love to.”

☼☽

hyuck’s number, scrawled almost illegibly across the back of crumpled sheet music, feels light in my pocket, giving me peace even as i push my front door open.

the lock snaps behind me automatically, and i barely have enough time to register the scent of musty cigarette smoke before a lamp shatters apart against the wall near my head. “maybe if you came home on time, this wouldn’t happen!” he yells again, the peeling orange paint too tired to fight back against the constant abuse.

i can’t find it within myself to tell him that my curfew isn’t for another hour, because everything i say twists itself into something else when he gets like this. “at least i’m home, right?” i whisper back, ignoring the colors that blur my vision with every slam, every scream, every piece of glass. “i could be — what, one of those kids who gets high every night and wakes up alone, or in a ditch, but i’m here, aren’t i? isn’t that worth something?”

he whips his face toward mine, and despite enduring this several times a week, i can’t help but shrink back, bracing my senses for the yells about to trigger the overload of colorful responses. instead, he just narrows his blazing eyes at me, alight with a kind of sickening fervor only alcohol is responsible for, and levels his voice until there’s nothing left in it.

“i wish you woke up in a ditch."

and all i can see is red. not blood, no — but that would have been less destructive.

☼☽

even though my cheeks are tear-stained, soaking my mickey mouse pillowcase, i manage a small smile, more like my lips pressing together lightly, at the incoming texts on my phone that light up my screen every few seconds.

**hyuck <3**

u kinda hinted that u have a rough life

so here's sum funny cat videos to cheer u up

there's dogs, too i wasn’t sure if u were a cat or dog person?

dkfjadjf ur probably like oMg hE’S sO dUmB

i just wanna help, u know?

n e ways, goodnight mark

c u tmrw?

_10:06pm _

before i can even type a response, my phone buzzes a couple more times.

**hyuck <3**

also

you are worth everything

_10:07pm _

**jaem :) **

sleep well, mark, let me know if you need anything

we’re always here for you, okay?

_10:07pm_

i wipe the stray tears away, remembering the yellow buzz of home i felt when hyuck and i shared the practice room, the color i see now even just reading his messages, and how the sunflowers and daisies braided themselves like blankets around my shoulders. they both seem to want to protect me, even if i think myself to be a garden undeserving of care.

**me** to **jaem :)**

thanks, jaemin. you are the best:)

_10:07pm_

**me** to **hyuck <3**

see you tomorrow

and thank you for being my sunflower <3

_10:08pm_

hugging my pillow tighter, i can’t help but sigh in mild content, knowing that despite the storm brewing right down the hall, there will always be sunshine and flowers to help me escape.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far, thank you for reading something different than i usually write. this topic is hard for me to discuss because i know about it firsthand, but i hope that i did alright in conveying that if you ever feel upset or abused, rely on your friends and other family, and talk to someone about it to get out of that situation, or if you can't get out of it, make sure you have the resources to help.
> 
> leave a kudos or comment if you want, or if there's something else you want to see (i'm working on something new rn)! if you ever need or want to talk to me about anything, my twt dms are always open, and so is my cc!  
twt: angelssnct  
cc: angelsnct


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